Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
