one two three fourrrrnication!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
