this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
it glows. i had to have it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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