not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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