I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
