Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
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