we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
