Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize