He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
