the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
