you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize