You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
