We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
