hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
