All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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