i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
