If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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