he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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