Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
My life is pants optional.
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