Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
