I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Ladies don't puke and tell
All I want is dick and wine.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
