Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
