i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
