fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
