you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Randomize
