His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
