You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Nobody cheats on THIS.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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