That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
