You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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