did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
