That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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