Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
