I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
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