i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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