you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize