Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
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