Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
the day after is always just damage control
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
