): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
she told me i tasted like america
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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