This is not my ceiling
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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