he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
