I bet he comes in French.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
