Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
