marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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