Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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