I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
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