This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize