Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
The ass gains better be worth it
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