I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
