dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
