What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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