loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize