Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
She's not a foreskin expert like you
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
