Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
