I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
