yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize