when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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