I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
