I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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