I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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