Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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