thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
