I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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