If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
