Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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