girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
