got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
cat food counts as protein by the way
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
