i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
