Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
