quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
