My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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