she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Randomize
