so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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